Please, don’t let my urinating interrupt your phone call.

There is one thing that I have never understood: Why do people make phone calls in public restrooms? Seriously, why the heck? Not that I truly care. I am not easily put off by bodily functions, seeing as I am a scientist, or at least in the process of becoming one. Basically, bodily functions, dirt, and germs don’t frighten me in the least. But when it comes to this conversing in public restrooms thing, it just seems downright odd. The person actually making the phone call is not odd; it’s the idea of someone “x” amount of miles away is probably listening to me pee.

^^ “She wants me to stop talking on my cell phone in the bathroom? As if!”

So here is this person that I have never seen, met, much less spoken too, hearing me urinate via cell phone satellite signal. Odd, right? I will probably never encounter this person on the other end of the line (not like I would know it if I did) so I am not embarrassed. But still! And the person in the bathroom on the phone, stands nonchalantly in front of the paper towel dispenser like it’s “no big,” discussing groceries and her annoying cousin twice removed. “The shoes had glitter on the heels too..!”

Don’t be mistaken readers! I have committed this offense more than once but it was usually in high school when cell phones were not allowed in the classrooms and I had to reach my dearest mother for some reason. But next time you sit down to pee and someone is on the phone, or you are the one making the call in the restroom, chuckle to yourself at the fact that you are sharing a very strange, intimate moment with another person who is not even in the same room as you…