The Disaster Fairy strikes again! My medical adventures ensue…

Ok…so maybe my current predicament hasn’t quite achieved disaster status…yet. But I keep getting pretty darn close! As many of you regular readers may know, I have quite a history of really random health issues. It’s never anything serious, but I’m that kid on the playground who has a new, unexplained rash every week. That’s right; I’m going to talk about my rashes again. Only this time, I might actually have a convoluted explanation!

^^^ Believe it or not, I got teased A LOT in grade school…

Again, let’s turn the clock back to the summer of 2005 (quite a few years back). I was 17 working as a nursery-keeper in my church every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening. I was always sick with some kind of cold or sinus infection. Because of this, I now have quite the immune system! But at the time, I was feeling really sick…again. So I went to see my ear, nose, and throat specialist, Dr. ENT, I will call him. He’s a little Vietnamese man, about my size, who speaks with an extremely thick accent. Upon my examination, a large lump was found in my neck. Yay. The cyst on my thyroid had been discovered. We don’t really know how long it had been there (we assumed a couple months…cause it was pretty big). So the big question here was: Is it cancer?

^^^ Dr. ENT always wore that giant circular thing on his head. It amused me when I was a little girl.

For the next year or so, they ran all kinds of tests on me, took biopsies, and basically “kept and eye” on the cyst, hoping it would eventually go away, proving that it was benign. Well, it never went away. Over winter break of my freshman year in college (December 2006), I had surgery to remove the right half of my thyroid; there was no need to take out the whole thing. It’s always a good plan to leave as much of your organs intact as possible, right?

So they extracted half of my thyroid and I got to spend a whole night at UVA medical center (totally underrated). I ate chocolate ice cream, saw the first ten minutes of the TNT world premier of “Return of the King” before I passed out. Yes, I was a little peeved when they fed me pain meds RIGHT before the movie came on. My mom stayed with me ALL NIGHT LONG and woke up with me every single time the nurses came in to check my vitals. How awesome is that? And then when I couldn’t go back to sleep, we stayed up and talked for hours. ::sigh:: Pretty much the coolest lady in the world.

^^^ A fun place to be!

But back on track! They found that the cyst was benign! YAY! Nothing to worry about anymore, right? I started taking synthetic thyroid hormones so the other half of my thyroid would “go to sleep.” Theoretically, one half of a thyroid will produce enough hormones for your whole body, should the other half be compromised. However, the doctors were unsure of what caused the random cyst on the right side so putting the other half to sleep as a precaution was the best idea. No more mystery cysts!

Well, the saga continues. Exactly six months after my surgery, as soon as the weather turned warm, a huge, puffy, itchy rash formed over and around my surgical scar all over my neck. This rash thing came and went all summer, finally disappearing into the night at the start of my sophomore year. I saw several doctors about this issue, mostly physicians and one dermatologist. No one could explain it except to say, “It looks like an allergic reaction to something.” Gee wiz. That helps.

^^^ Not even Wikipedia could tell me the answer!

Another year or so goes by. No rash. It’s forgotten, right? If some of you recall, I had ANOTHER unexplained rash all over my right thigh at the beginning of my junior year (this past fall semester, 2008). Again, went to a doctor, “Ah! You’re allergic to something. Here’s a steroid cream.” Of course under the influence of steroids, almost anything can be cleared up. So that one went away.

^^^ Haha! I couldn’t help it.

That’s the history. Let’s put the clock back to present day. It is now the summer of 2009, months after my leg rash and a couple years after my last neck rash. I went to the Outer Banks last weekend with my cousin who is one of my nearest and dearest friends. I will call her “The Cuz.” There was absolutely no shade to be had on the Oregon Inlet campground. I got a nice sunburn in a few places but other than that, the weekend was quite enjoyable. Upon my return on Sunday evening, I couldn’t help but notice that my arms were itching terribly around my elbow joints. I wasn’t burned there, but I had gotten a lot of sun there. Was this sun poisoning? Hm.

^^^ I finally got my beach fix!

Long story short, this began happening to my neck. By Tuesday, both of my arms and chest area were covered in tiny little red dots. And I was itching like I had never itched before. I threw my hands up, “Ok. Time to call an allergist.” Within one doctors visit, I received an explanation for ALL of these medical issues I have just listed. Here it is:

MY IMMUNE SYSTEM HAS BEEN ATTACKING MY THYROID FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS! I HAVE THYROID DISEASE!

Now, if you know your doctors well enough, you would know that most allergists are also immunologists (hallelujah!). So Dr. Godfather (I’m going to call him that because he spoke with a New Yorker’s accent, saying things like, “No big deal,” with an emphasis on the ‘d’) just about leapt out of his little wheely chair when I mentioned I had a history of thyroid issues. “I am almost certain this is related to your thyroid,” he said.

^^^ “I’m going to fix you!!!!!!!!!”

Here is what’s happening inside the writer’s body: One day, for some reason unknown, my overactive immune system said, “Hey! I don’t like that thyroid thing!” So it built up all these specialized antibodies specifically to kill my thyroid. There are many things that can happen as a result of this. One result is a growth forming on the thyroid. That was my thyroid’s first response. Bada-bing, bada-boom, we have a cyst! Doctors say, “Wow…your hormone levels are completely normal! No disease! You just grew a cyst randomly (which does happen) so let’s take it out!” Cyst is gone…but half of my thyroid remains. So the antibodies keep rolling in, shooting at my injured thyroid. (I imagine this to look something like a battle scene in the new Star Trek movie). Instead of growing another cyst, this time, my thyroid produced histamines and HIVES! In my case, heat is the main trigger for this event, hence, the reason it has only popped up during hotter conditions.

^^^ I now have a running joke with my close friends and family that my skin is that of a vampire’s and will start to sizzle if I step into the sun.

So to date, my arms, neck, cheeks, and ears are covered in hives. I am taking a series of antihistamines including Claratin, Zyrtec, and Zantac 150. Apparently, Zantac, which is used to inhibit stomach acid production, also inhibits the production of histamines. This morning I woke up looking like a pug dog with really swollen, pouty lips and beet-red cheeks. I am really banking on this stuff kicking in SOON! Although the doctor was very confident in his hypothesis, he sent me to the lab for some blood work as a precautionary measure. They will test my blood for the antibodies that work to kill my thyroid. There is no cure for my condition (except another surgery to remove the remaining half of my thyroid), so the idea is to wait it out. If my thyroid isn’t already mostly dead, it will be soon.

The most amusing thing about this whole scenario is that I actually have a disease. I think it’s great! It’s a minor disease so it’s not going to kill me or anything. The technical term is Hashimoto’s disease. Here’s a little blurb I found online at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hashimotos-disease/DS00567   –>

“Hashimoto’s disease is a disorder that affects your thyroid, a small gland located at the base of your neck, below your Adam’s apple. The thyroid gland is part of your endocrine system, which produces hormones that coordinate many of your body’s activities.

In Hashimoto’s disease, also known as chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis, your immune system attacks your thyroid gland. The resulting inflammation often leads to an underactive thyroid gland (hypothyroidism). Hashimoto’s disease is the most common cause of hypothyroidism in the United States.

Doctors test your thyroid function to help detect Hashimoto’s disease. Treatment of Hashimoto’s disease with thyroid hormone replacement usually is simple and effective.”

^^^ Here’s a little animated mechanism of what happens with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis…for all you visual learners out there.

It’s simple and effective…as long as you don’t produce hives : ). The only disconcerting thing about this whole disease is that “infertility” and “birth defects” were listed as possible complications. I think as long as my hormone levels are stable (which is achieved with a nice little synthetic thyroid hormone pill taken daily), I should have no problem. I love kids!

^^^ I typed “lots of babies” into Google Image and found this. And then I laughed out loud…alone on the couch.

As an aside, I was tested for many common allergies and I am allergic to NOTHING. Yay! I can still eat peanuts! But for now, I am incapacitated and itchy. I haven’s showered recently (I wouldn’t dare admit how long) because it makes me itch. And taking a cold bath would be miserable. The doctor said I should apply Vicks Vaporub to my hives to relieve the itching. He’s right! It really works! But I am incredibly greasy and have to cover the couch with a sheet just so I can sit on it. So for now it’s just me, GRE workbooks, pajamas, and facebook. I should add chocolate milk to that list… Until next time!

^^^ “Ohhh yeeaahh…”

A triple wammie.

Well friends, I must use this post to whine just a little bit. Once again, it appears that not-so-fun things happen to me in sets of three. So here goes nothing– yet another triple wammie for the writer!

 

^^^ I am exasperated!

Let’s set the clock back to the weekend of June the 5th, shall we? It’s a Friday and I will be traveling BACK out to my college town (for the second weekend in a row) to visit people and attend the wedding of a good college friend. That afternoon, I was to meet one of my favorite professors to discuss my progress on the graduate school front. I was very excited to see him and was planning a relaxing afternoon in his office, chatting up a storm. So of course, I left with plenty of time to get there! For those of you who haven’t been keeping up with the weather on the East coast for the past couple of weeks, it’s been raining pretty much non-stop. And that’s what I got caught. What should have been a four hour drive suddenly turned into a six hour crawl. I got stopped by traffic somewhere outside Williamsburg and after sitting for almost an hour, I decided I had had enough and that I was going to use my handy-dandy Gazetteer to navigate my way to the University via back roads. I was quite successful at this…except for one small interruption. I had a fender-bender.  : (

^^^ My car looks almost identical to the green car. Oh snap, son.

Luckily no one was hurt! And it was a very minor collision. I was driving along, probably looking at my map too much (in the pouring rain on a road I had never seen before in my life with too many stoplights…) when the cars in front of me began to slow to a halt. Suddenly, the lady at the front of the line slammed her brakes, causing the guy in front of me to slam on HIS brakes. So of course, I slammed on MY brakes too, and it seemed like I would actually stop in time…except for the fact that my antilock braking system has been down for severl months now. Technically, you aren’t required to have antilock brakes, but it sure would have helped in this situation. My brakes locked and I slid/hydroplaned/screeched for what seemed like an eternity finally to hit the rear bumper of the guy in front of me. Of course, he drove away with three scratches and my hood was…well…compromised. But the situation was extremely lucky! A police officer randomly came out of the woodwork! Apparently he had watched the whole thing and agreed that it wasn’t anybody’s fault, so I didn’t get a ticket. The guy I hit was really nice about it and concurred with the officer that it was a simple accident. “I heard you screeching for the longest time!” Yep. So in that respect, I was very lucky!

^^^ I’m glad I got the good cop this time!

The only problem now is that I have a more than compromised car. To make a long story short, my car is leaking in several places, no antilock brakes, and a hugely messed up hood and front bumper…not to mention the chipping paint, squeaking doors and windows…she’s past her prime. So to myself and my mother, the answer was simple: time for a different vehicle. But with the state of the economy, that’s not gonna happen for us. So the battle this past week was for us to try to convince my father that patching up this car was less than a wise decision when I could get a better car for about the same price (perhaps a bit more). He made a really good case for my present tin-can car- it has a REALLY good engine that will run until the world ends. My car’s engine is like a cocroach in Hiroshima, basically. I also get incredible gas mileage. So we’re doing the repairs on it…and I am hoping that it will last me through graduate school. : /

^^^ Look! It’s me on my way to Graduate School! I’m going to be Flinstoning myself there.

And that’s the end of the first trial! The second trial is more trivial. Long story short, I am allergic to bees…and last Monday, I got stung in my neck. Nice work, Bee! I swear, they keep human anatomy charts in their hives like, “Sting HERE!” It was actually a sweat bee and my allergy is minor so I didn’t die or suffocate. I just have this huge, incredibly itchy rash covering my neck. And now I am on steroids…So my emotions are playing with my mind and I feel like I want to Hulk out about three times a day. Yay.

^^^ Jerk.

As for the last trial, it is probably the saddest of all. This past Friday, my mom and I were across town for an appointment and were miraculously running ahead of schedule (really, this is incredible for my mother; go mom!) so I suggested that we stop by the SPCA just for fun to look at the dogs. Now I know what you’re all thinking! You’re thinking that this is an unwise decision because I will inevitably fall in love with one of the dogs and not be able to leave it. But I must say that I’m not THAT bad. Yes, I did fall in love with one of the dogs. However, I had no intention of taking it home until my mother piped in, “Well maybe we could take it home for the weeked to see if Dad likes her.” So I didn’t refuse for a minute!

^^^ Oh, cute.

This is an incredible dog. She’s a ten month old border collie mix (with some hound in there somewhere) and we bonded immediatly. Mona pressed her body sideways up against the fence so I could reach through with my fingers to pet her as best as I could. We touched faces through the fence and she licked my nose gently. I was in love. And to this day, I have not heard her bark once (though, she does bark- my mom heard her one night while I was out of the house). She knows the rules- no jumping, no peeing in the house (she has yet to make a mess ANYWHERE, including her crate). Mona ended up at the SPCA when her former owner, a single woman, had a landlord who did not approve of the dog being in the apartment. So obviously she’s a great girl who ended up in a not-so-great situation.

^^^ I typed in “Border collie – hound” into google image. Mona looks a lot like this. Be still my beating heart!

The sad part is that my dad is NOT buying it. Again…bad economy. “We can’t afford a dog,” he says. I pleaded, “Let me take her back to school with me! I promise I’ll make it work! She’s the perfect size! I’ll pay for everything!” Then of course he reminds me that I have no money. So that’s the situation. I have to take her back to the SPCA by Friday. Until then, I am madly searching for a home that will take her. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. And she’s great with other dogs and kids! And those eyes… : (  On a lighter note, I am sure that someone great will take her. I’m just afraid that I will never see her again.

^^^ That’s about her size…But she’s more black than white.

And that pretty much wraps up this session. I must return to my GRE preparation and DEQ fun! Until next time, friends!

The top 5 items every outdoorsman / woman must have:

You know, readers, I could just get on here every week or so and rant about my crazy hectic life, but I won’t do that to you. It’s been a while since I have made a post in series format so I will humor the Google search engine and compile yet another list for you fine people.

^^^ “Dude, did you seriously eat ALL the Fig Newtons?” It’s happened before.

Recently I have been focusing on re-vamping (or creating from scratch, rather) my collection of outdoorsy paraphenalia. There are just certain things that you should have on your person when you are partaking in any outside activity. This accounts especially for hiking, kayaking, mountain biking, and whatever else people might do outside besides a leisurely game of badmitten. So here it is! The top five items you should seriously think about investing in when it comes to outdoor sports:

1. A pocket knife- Now, I actually went all out and got the Leatherman Skeletool multi-tool that includes a nice blade, changeable screwdriver sets, and pliers. However, since we’re only talking bare essentials (and a Philip’s head usually doesn’t make the difference between life and death on the trails), I will simply say that all you REALLY need is a good pocket knife. Define good pocket knife: A GOOD knife has a straight tip and is nicely serrated towards the base of the blade. It will LOCK in place upon being opened but also opens easily (even with the use of one hand). The most important thing to consider is how you as the wielder feels with the knife. Is it comfortable and natural to you? Do you feel confident and safe with it? These are all questions you should ask yourself. TRY OUT THE KNIFE IN THE STORE! Make the clerk take it out of the case and show you how it works before you fool around with it. The reason you want a straight tip with a serrated base is because you might need to cut rope. So many people carry around tiny little straight blades but I’m telling you now, when you are out in the wilderness, that isn’t gonna cut it…no pun intended (haha!). Also, your knife should be large enough to cut something but not so large that it is unruly to carry. A good rule of thumb for knife size- when your knife is folded up, it shouldn’t extend beyond your middle finger when laying flat in your hand.

^^^ This is my beauty. The blade is relatively small but it has a really strong base and is quite tough for its size.

^^^ I don’t know why the knife says “Police” on it so I am going to assume that this is a standard knife used by the Police. And it’s the only image of a desent knife I could find on the web. This is a good small to medium size pocket knife that will cut rope or skin an animal if you really need it to… if you get stranded.  : /

2. A flashlight! Always always always carry a flashlight with you! You never know when you are going to get stuck on the trail or on the water in the dark. This is REALLY important if you are a caver! Going caving has a whole new set of implications with flashlights. Recently, I purchased a “Surefire” flashlight that is actually bright yellow so it’s easier to find it in the dark. FINALLY! Someone realized the irony of black flashlights. This particular flashlight is small, lightweight, and has a tough polymer exterior designed for dropping and tough excursions (you know you will). Also, it uses high output lithium batteries, producing stronger light and the battery life is longer. If you are doing some serious through hiking or caving, consider a headlamp and a hand crank emergency flashlight along with your regular flashlight just in case your batteries die.

3. Good hiking boots. A good pair of boots these days contains two things: Vibram soles and Gortex. Vibram is, “Designed to perform in diverse and rugged terrain. Exclusive Vibram compounds guarantee maximum traction on both wet and dry surfaces.” Many different brands will offer Vibram soles but only some offer water-proofing Gortex, where “The outer layer keeps liquid moisture from penetrating, and yet its microporous structure aids your body’s natural cooling process by allowing perspiration vapor to escape.” Pretty nifty! Also, you want your boots to fit, but always make sure you have room for thick socks. You should be wearing thick socks with your hiking boots 99% of the time anyway. Choose a lightweight pair that offers all these features and you should be good to go! Here’s the pair I just purchased.

^^^ This boot is aparently named “The Siren.” HOLLER!

4. FOOD! Never never never hit the trails / rivers/ rock walls / caves without food. For one, you don’t want to flake out in the middle of your fun adventure. Always stay hydrated and comfortably fed. More importantly, however, if by some chance you DO get stranded, you will have something to hold you over JUST IN CASE before cannibalism sets in. Take trail mix with lots of dried fruit and nuts. Make sure its relatively low in sodium so you don’t get dehydrated! That’s important! Take a couple apples/ bananas/ random produce (more than you need for one trip). Jerky could work too. The only thing about jerky is that it is very salty (it will dehydrate you) and you will end up expending more calories by simply chewing the jerky than you will gain from eating it. Nevertheless, in a dire situation, anything is better than nothing. Complex carbohydrates are good- whole grain crackers and such. I am also a big advocate of peanut butter…the crunchy kind. You should always come back from a hiking trip with food you haven’t eaten.

^^^ I would also add, “Bring lots of water…as in, more than one bottle,” but I hope that goes without saying.  : )

5. A rain coat. Again, very critical. Even when it’s summertime, I always take my raincoat Let me be clear that I’m not talking about a random poncho I bought at a football game when I was ten years old. Go to a local sporting goods store and pick out a REAL rain slicker with a mesh lining. I got a rain coat on clearance a couple years ago and I’m not gonna lie, the zipper stinks and it constantly getting stuck but that jacket has kept me impeccably warm in dry on some of the coldest, rainiest days. And I can get very cold, very easily! I have also worn than jacket on a blistering hot hike out in the open fields of Grayson County highlands because I had forgotten my sunscreen and was starting to get severely burned.  The point is, this jacket should keep you warm when its cold, but should still be wearable when it’s hot. Last but not least, make sure the HOOD WORKS on YOUR HEAD! Try it on. Pull the drawstrings. If the hood doesn’t fit, move on, because wet hair is the last thing you need on the trail.

^^^ Like I said, my jacket was a discounted Nike jacket. But it’s a sporting jacket so it serves its purpose. However, if you have a little more cash to burn, the North Face has really good rain jackets. Also, check out Patagonia.

And there you have it, readers! The top five things to have on the trails with you, in no particular order. As a side note, always carry a cell phone, even if you don’t have a signal. For one, you never know when it will pick up. Number two, you can actually ignite a spark with a cell phone battery. Don’t ask me how…that’s another entry. But I’m sure if you were trapped in the woods long enough, you’d get around to figuring it out (or at least trying). One last thing, always carry your ID on you. As cynical as this sounds, if something happens to your, ahem, body, officials will be able to identify you. : )   YAY! I love this stuff! Now go have fun out there!

^^^ “Oooo, ahhh…”