My Marvelous Adventures in China: Part 2
I want to hug my friends and family. I want to bite into an apple without worrying about contracting hepatitis. I want to walk into a public restroom and know that there will be toilet paper.
Ok. I am done complaining. Much has happened since I last posted! On Wednesday, we had a lecture on Chinese tea culture which was really cool. Once again, I will create an Italian parallel: It’s the equivalent of wine-tasting in Italy. First, you hold the tiny teacup with your right hand and place your flattened left hand under the bottom. This is a sign of respect. Next, you move the cup under your nose in a circular motion to gather the scent. Notice the color, make sure it’s cool enough, then take a small sip. If your host fills your glass completely, that means you are not welcome and they would like you to leave. However, if they only fill your glass about halfway or three quarters, that means you are a welcome guest. I did purchase some authentic Chinese green tea leaves from the Green Tea capital of the world in Hangzhou (pronounced “Hong-joe”) so some of you back at home will get a tutorial on tea culture from me once I get home. Also, before filling the glass with the hot water to drink, you must first soak the leaves in the tiniest amount of water so they will swell, ready to let out their flavor. They don’t use tea bags here, just leaves in boiling water.
^^^ This is what Green tea is supposed to look like.
For all you lucky gentlemen out there, I have made a decision concerning Chinese tea culture. For wedding ceremonies, there is a Chinese tradition that the new daughter-in-law will serve tea to her future mother and father-in-law. If they accept the tea and drink it, she is welcome in their family. If not…Runaway Bride II. But I was kinda thinking that it would be cool to have a similar ceremony at a rehearsal dinner or something. And this is where I’ll stop talking about my own wedding. I have to get a groom first. Disclaimer: I am a little obsessed with weddings.
Moving on! Hangzhou was like Shanghai meets Suzhou meets Charlottesville, Virginia…If you can imagine that. Our first activity was visiting the Western lake which is said to be the most beautiful lake in eastern China…or something like that. Personally, I think it should be dubbed the busiest lake in ALL of China. The place was packed. Was it beautiful? Yes. Was it serene? No. There were peacocks and goldfish, flowers and pagodas (the Asian equivalent of a gazebo) but my favorite thing was ::drum roll:: MOUNTAINS! Granted, they were small mountains, but it was my first Chinese mountain experience and for those of you who know me well, you know I am obsessed with mountains. We took another boat tour on the lake. This one wasn’t quite as spiritually moving because there were tons of people around and tons of other boats. And the heat was ridiculously oppressive. But all-in-all, not bad.
^^^ West Lake, Hangzhou
Next, we loaded onto our bus (disclaimer: This entire trip, we have stuck out like a sore thumb. We might as well have matching t-shirts that has “TOURISTS” plastered across the front) and took off for our next destination: The Green tea capitol of the world. It’s a small tea village in the guts of Hangzhou, conveniently away from the streets around the Western lake, nestled in a mountain hollow. Once again, I will make an Italian reference. This place reminded me of a vineyard which would make perfect sense if Chinese tea culture is so much like Italian wine culture (I really need to visit Italy; this is becoming absurd). The village was beautiful. We had another mini-lecture on Chinese tea culture and they proceeded to market their tea to us which worked very well; I bought some.
After a nice dinner, we headed back into the city of Hangzhou and got settled into our hotel rooms which were quite comfortable…except for the beds. One thing I have noticed here: The Chinese love a firm mattress. Thank goodness I was extremely worn out that night because sleeping on that bed was literally like sleeping on wooden planks. Anyway, I digress. As you can imagine, none of us were ready to settle in at the ripe hour of 8:00 p.m. in a new city, so us rebellious American kids hit the streets in search of trouble (I am…mostly kidding). At first, we headed in the direction of the Western lake which was in walking distance from the hotel. Upon reaching the waters edge, some of us wanted to shop and others wanted to explore. Our study abroad group has recently established a friendly schism between “The Hikers” and “The Shoppers.” The members of these two groups sometimes vary but for the most part, there are two distinct groups (disclaimer: despite this semi-separation, we all really get along quite well and enjoy hanging out). Once again, for those of you who know me, you know which category I tend to fall under. As much as I love clothes, I am one of the Hikers. So the Hikers set out for an adventure, as did the Shoppers.
During our tour of the lake earlier that day, I had spotted a tall spire-like structure jutting out from some trees on a hilltop. I said to myself, “I wanna go THERE.” So…we did. There were a few stops along the way. A water show with cool lights and music was going on at the waters edge. Lots of people gathered, as usual. We watched. We “ooed.” We “awed.” Then we just started walking. By this time, it was dark outside, but Hangzhou was very much alive. So we meandered by the water and as we progressed, I mentioned aloud that I wanted to try to reach the tower that night. Some of the other Hikers were doubtful. I agree; it did seem like a long way away. So I didn’t say much else about it and figured if we got close enough, I would suggest it once more. The time came and I seized the opportunity. Crossing a very busy and dangerous street, the other Hikers at my side, we all faced death together. After a lot of back alley-way exploration and refusal and redirecton by elderly Chinese women, we found the right hill and climbed up uP UP! It was dark and kinda scary, but SO adventurous. There were these really creepy shops and tenants on top of the hill we climbed and they offered us things in Chinese. At this point, we have learned to ignore these pleas for money via cheap transactions.
Next, we came to some stairs. Lots and lots of stairs. Finally, there were actually some lights so things were looking a little more promising. Everything, the stairs and the forest alike, was lit up golden. I truly felt like Indiana Jones. Cher, you would have loved this place. All you would need is a bullwhip. The stairs were mostly even but they had this strange pattern where they were jagged on the outer edges and flat only in the very middle so it was like we had to go up in a single-file line. Again, UP UP UP! Upon reaching the top, we beheld this tall, thin tower that appeared to be a temple of some sort. All the signs were in Chinese so I have no idea what this place was…except for AWESOME! We climbed on the rocks and looked out over the city of Hangzhou. It was beautiful. That’s it. Just breath-taking; the China I had always dreamed of. We returned to our hotel very sweaty to find that one of the young men on our trip (I will call him Birdie) was being offered “services” by some women lingering around the hotel bar. Haha! Princess and others from the Shopper group quickly demanded that they retreat.
The next day, we visited a Buddhist temple. This complex was HUGE. I believe it is either the oldest or largest (or both) of all Buddhist temples in China. It’s one of those “-est” things. Also, I think I remember someone saying that an Indian guy had it built…maybe? I can’t remember all of this stuff. And everything is in CHINESE! (Disclaimer: this language barrier is a big one…we’re talking iron curtain). It was a spiritual place and technically we weren’t supposed to take pictures inside the temples…However, Dr. China took many pictures and this was also a very touristy area, so I tried to sneak a few. I was as quick and as discrete as possible. For me, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So when I am 80 years ancient, I would like to look back at these pictures and say, “Oh yeah! That’s what it looked like.” Just another disclaimer; I’ll own my imperfections. Aside from that, it was gorgeous but very crowded. The color scheme consisted of tangerine-clay orange, blood-red (deepish red, almost maroon), and hunter green. So many rich colors! I loved it. More climbing was involved but as usual, I opted to climb to the very top temple. There were also these really cool caves where I got to rub the Buddha’s hand for wealth and I also got to rub some wall with carvings above for good luck. Don’t worry Mom, I videoed it. Let me tell ya, you’re going to love the mass amounts of pictures and video I have. I am thinking of you! More than you know! Oh! Sidenote: I got to see monks in their yellow robes. SO COOL!
^^^ Lingyin temple, Hangzhou
After all this, we returned to Shanghai, had dinner, and went on ANOTHER boat tour of the Huangpu River (it separates the Bund and the Pudong, the two prominent sections of the big skyscraper area in Shanghai). There seems to be a recurring theme of Italy and boat tours. Hm. Anyway! It was pretty. I got cool pictures of the tall buildings at night and felt a breeze on my face. It was refreshing.
The next day (yesterday) we visited the Science and Technology center where I manage to loose my ticket and Dr. China had to buy me another one. Go me. “That was embarrassing and irresponsible,” I say to myself. Upon visiting the Spiders segment, a very large robotic spider came down from the ceiling, scaring me and making me squeal in front of everyone. Actually, it was more of a howl. But we won’t go there. Again, embarrassing. It was cool. They had an indoor rain forest and whole section devoted to conservation Biology. I was in heaven.
If any of you have had the opportunity to seen images of Shanghai, you might recall the tall structure with three spheres in line towards the top. It’s the Asian equivalent of the Eiffel tower or the Empire State Building, called the “Oriental Pearl.” We went up in it last night! It was cool…nothing too spectacular but worth doing just to say that we did it.
Vs. 
^^^ The Oriental Pearl and the Eiffel Tower duke it out.
And now today, we had a leisurely class and the afternoon off to recover. Another young man on our trip has not been feeling well with multiple symptoms that could count as a flu, a cold…all of the above. So we’re all taking it easy. Plus, the Chinese food is mostly tasty but tends to be very saucy, oily, and rich. Our stomachs are little miffed with us, it seems. But on a happier note! Tonight, we have tickets for a piano recital in downtown Shanghai (I know three words in Chinese and one of them is “downtown”- xu jiau hiu) where we will listen to this really famous Chinese pianist perform Chopin. I am in good spirits for this!
More funny stories. Yesterday, we were waiting outside of the Shanghai aquarium to see if we could afford to get in. Two Chinese couples approached me and asked if I would pose with their children for a picture. I agreed. At least it was with the kids instead of some 50 year old Chinese man who tried to stroke my hair.
Near the end of the first semester this past year, I ran into a fellow student who overheard that I was going to Shanghai and offered some advice. He had visited Shanghai during the summer of 2007. We sat and talked in Einstein’s café on campus (Lafonda, remember this guy?). Anyway, all he talked about was this pub that I HAD to visit. He told me nothing else. All I knew was that there was an Irish pub in Shanghai. I walked away from this conversation like, “Wow. A pub? I’m not gonna need that.” Correction my friends!!! Take heed: There are NO BARS IN CHINA! None. No drinking to be had, whatsoever. Ok, maybe not quite that bad. But I have yet to find an establishment that serves as a bar or nightclub. They don’t drink wine or beer here; they drink tea. Now I am like, “So that’s why that guy was so crazy about this pub place…” I wish I had paid more attention.
To close, I will say again that I miss everyone very much and although Beijing is just around the corner, I am finding myself excited about my return to the motherland. Lafonda and Cher…I am going to tackle you when I see you. Mom…you’re getting smothered…be prepared, where an oxygen mask, whatever it takes. I love you all!
My Marvelous Adventures in China: Part 1
Readers! I hear your calls! It has been really difficult to get to a computer since we got to China but I can assure all of you…or just mom…that I am safe and happy. Aside from the fact that I recently contracted a cold, I am doing very well thus far. With lots of drug donations from my friends here who are studying with me, I have become much better within a few short days. So now, you want to here about China, I am sure. Where do I even begin?!
Since my last entry when we all thought that our traveling could not get any worse, it did. Once we arrived in Atlanta, we had decided to leave our luggage at the airport overnight to eliminate the hassle of re-checking our bags in the morning when we would FINALLY leave this country. Upon our arrival the next morning at the airport, we discovered that three of the bags from our group had already been flown to Shanghai while the rest of them were still in the states…in scattered locations. Long story short, most of our stuff was located and flew over with us in our actual aircraft. About three bags were unaccounted for until about four days into our trip. One of those bags belonged to Princess. She was a trooper and stuck out the issue but was extremely glad to find her bag had arrived Sunday night. Once again, just say “No” to Delta airlines.
Our first couple days were mostly uneventful. We met some of the Chinese students here at Shanghai Normal University and got to listen to some traditional Chinese music. On Saturday, we visited the Bund, also known as the Yu Garden market or People’s square. I will insert pictures of these places once I get back into the states. This was a very overwhelming experience because this is THE place for tourists to shop and I will be the first to admit that I fell right into the trap. There is a TON of Chinese-themed paraphernalia like silk robes, t-shirts, chop-sticks sets, jade figurines. And you can haggle for ALL of this stuff and get it for SUPER cheap. I really ticked off a young Chinese girl when I agreed to buy a “Le Sport Sac” bag for 16 yuan but later changed my mind, saying I would buy two for 25 (this is about 3 to 4 American dollars…HOLLER!) She got really huffy and started cursing at me in Chinese but I was firm and began to act like I was walking away. Of course she decided to bend a little and we finally agreed on two for 28 yuan. The setting of the shopping center was really beautiful with the Chinese cantilevered roofs and random bridges over the river. The crowd was very dense, leave it to Saturday.
^^^ Yu Garden Market…this place is so cool
The next day, our lead professor who is Chinese (I will call him Dr. China) decided to have a little experiment. The day before, we used the bus provided by the University to get to the Yu Garden so transportation was relatively easy but on Sunday, it was public bus and metro time! YES! At this point, a lot of us were itching to get out. Although we had a small taste of the city the day before, we only wanted more. The bus was crowded and sweaty. The metro was crowded and sweaty. Travel was mostly comfortable, nonetheless. To give a little background information, Shanghai has a population of about 17 million. Compare that to New York City at roughly 10 million. That’s nearly double the size of New York City. So anyway, we arrived safely and in one piece to tour the Shanghai museum which was right up my alley. I’m a museum nerd. Most everything there had a common Asian theme but as some of you may recall, the summer Olympics are coming to Beijing in August so outside of the museum were two torches that are probably being lit as I type. What I didn’t realize was that some famous classic Greek sculpture was just shipped from the British museum (aka, big deal) to the Shanghai museum for a special Olympic exhibit. I had been nonchalantly wandering around the museum when I rounded the corner to see ::drum roll:: THE DISCOS THROWER!!! Lafonda, I know you are falling out of your chair right now. And what’s more, I snuck a picture of it. HAHAHA! They weren’t allowing photos because it wasn’t artwork owned by the Chinese government but I snuck a shot before the guy caught me. Oh, glory. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what the Olympics is all about. Glory. And brotherhood in competition, but whatever.
^^^ How sweet it is.
And finally…my favorite part so far: Suzhou (pronounced “Soo-joe”). Our first day trip was yesterday (Monday) to Suzhou, a much quieter place than Shanghai. So much to tell (if you are tired of reading now, too bad for you). First, we took a tour of this ancient Chinese home. It’s the Chinese equivalent of the Biltmore estate in North Carolina. Apparently, the family was very wealthy and the home had a small front door so as to make outsiders believe that they were a regular middle class family. The Chinese did not show off their wealth to the outside world; they were more humble about it. At this point, my cold was kinda cruddy but this place cured me. There were trees and greenery, ponds, stonework, absolutely GORGEOUS architecture. My roommates and best friends, Lafonda and Cher, I wish you guys could see this place. I am rendered speechless. Cantilevered roofs, red walls inside, white walls outside, 100% silk screens, and MORE. You had to literally hike through this home because the outdoors were largely incorporated into the layout. No room was left unopened. Behind that small front door was a maze of different buildings and rooms; each one had a special purpose. A special wood that is valued more than mahogany was used for construction because is repels mosquitoes. Wow. There was a great emphasis on man and wife/ yin and yang. Some rooms were separated, one for the wife and her visitors and the other for the man and his visitors. They based the amount of decoration in these halls on the common Mandarin ducks. These ducks are known to practice monogamy and the male is very decadent while the female is quite plain (sexual selection anyone?). So, the husband’s chambers were more elaborate while the wife’s were more conventional.
Since Suzhou is the silk capitol of the world, we visited their number one factory and took a tour. We got to see the silk worms and watch all the thread being spun. They boil the cocoons, killing the worm inside which is later removed. Cool. Now mom, I will go ahead and warn you that I didn’t buy a lot at Suzhou because I can get silk on the streets here for cheaper. Just throwing that out there.
^^^ Silk!
Next was my favorite thing of the entire day. You know how in Italy you can take those gondola tours up and down the canals? We did the Chinese equivalent of that. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced in my entire life, hands down. We’re in this small town to begin with and I am seeing the China I had always imagined in my head. There were old rustic homes right on the canal; women were leaning out of their windows to hang up their laundry. And here we are on these boats. Suddenly, the woman steering the boat ahead of mine breaks out into an old Chinese folk song. It sounded very Asian and nasal but it was beautiful. At that moment, I pretty much became untouchable. Then, the old man steering my boat sang after the woman finished. He was older and his face was weathered, like and old, wise tree with many lines down the bark but still standing strong. This place was so raw. My eyes welled up for a moment and I smiled…like an idiot…the whole time.
The last event in Suzhou was Tiger hill. We “hiked” to the top of this hill to walk through this old tower that served as a Buddhist temple. At the starting point, there is a standard Chinese rectangular building with the cantilevered roof. The building is painted orange and if you look straight at it, you can see the tower of the temple off in the distance. The building is the Tiger’s head and the tower is the Tiger’s tail! Clever! It was very Indian-esque and I was extremely excited about the sacredness of this place. Once again, we were told not to take any photos of the inside. The doors were small and the inside was painted red in strips with little flowery green designs in the white patches. After exiting the building, I tried to get the typical “leaning Tower of Pisa” photo because the tower is in fact, leaning (who new that Italy and China were the same place?) but there were too many trees in the way and it didn’t quite work. In Buddhism there are 108 troubles in life and there is a flight of 108 steps to the temple. This served as our exit and I descended with a smile. It was time to head back to Shanghai.
^^^ This is the tail of the Tiger, the leaning Pagoda.
Today we had a martial arts demo. They tried to get us students involved…Not so much. Enough said there.
We already have lots of funny stories to tell. One night, three of the girls and my self (I will call them, the little mermaid, Thelma and louise) decided to go to a karaoke bar down the street. As soon as we walked in, we knew this wasn’t the “bar” we had expected. Long story short, it looked more like strip club, we had our own private room adorned with velvet seats and after a long difficult game of charades with one of the waiters, we finally got to leave. There was no way I was paying 100 yuan to sing in a private room to three other people. We escaped unscathed.
Also, in downtown Shanghai, some Chinese tourists who were visiting the city spotted us Americans and decided it would be fun to get their picture with us girls. I started to duck out but one of the Chinese men insisted that I stay in the shot. The group all took turns getting their individual pictures with us and we laughed hysterically. Apparently they have a thing for fair-haired people. I am blonde. Story told.
At this point, I really need to catch up on a lot of things like laundry, which I just found out I have to do by hand in our tub and then hang out of our window like all the other 17 million people in this city. Other random things: The smells here are interesting…or just awful. The food is mostly good. Tonight at dinner, we went to a new restaurant (when I say new, I mean new to us, old to China) and as we entered, there was a fish tank that held two frogs and a rather large snake. They were in line to be eaten. Princess has been a great roommate and I am SO glad to have a familiar face to share a room with. For now, I will say good-bye and I will write again as soon as I can. Once again, thank you SO MUCH, Cher, for posting this for me
P.S.- Mom, I miss your cooking. And thank you for buying me this AWESOME camera! I love you! Give Dad a squeezer deezer for me.
China…Or lack thereof. (Study abroad part one)
Readers! Allow me to dive right in. This has been the most stressful, uncanny, scarry, funny, and unreal transit of my LIFE. Granted, I have not had much travel experience at all prior to this trip but I will also throw in a disclaimer that the “series of unfortunate events” I am about to disclose is pretty much once in a lifetime. In other words, I have never heard a travel horror story of such a high caliber as the tale I am about to tell you.
So, quickly, I will add that I am not even in Shanghai right now; me and my fellow students are stuck in Atlanta, Georgia…in the United States of America. It all began this morning at about 4:00 a.m. when I awoke to my alarm clock’s insistent beeping, as if to say, “Get up you lazy bum!” So I did as I was told and peeled myself off of Lafonda’s REALLY comfy couch to hit the shower (side note: the airport we were leaving from is closer to Lafonda; since I live 4 hours away, my best friend put me up for a night and spoiled me to death; LOVE YOU LAFONDA!). After a refreshing shower and wholesome breakfast, (yummy scrambled eggs by Lafonda and sweetbread) we hit the road right on schedule at about 4:45 a.m. It takes about 30 minutes to get to the airport and my flight was due to leave at 7:00 a.m.
This is where things start going WAY downhill; we’re talking wheels and no brakes, folks. The night before, Lafonda had noticed that her “check engine” light was on but nothing serious had happened thus far so we assumed it would be fine to take her car to the airport. After all, it was a relatively short drive. About ten minutes onto the highway, as soon as we reach the bridgetunnel, I look over too see a horrified Lafonda staring in the reer-view mirror.
^^^ “Your chariot awaits you, m’lady.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask. I was a little bewildered and had no idea what was going on.
“Look behind us,” She says. Once again, I do as I am told but this time to view a giant cloud of smoke that the car is giving off down the highway. Basically, “Bombs away!” We are now on a bridge, over the ocean, peparing to enter a tunnel.
Two very panicked college girls pulled over and unloaded the car quickly for fear of fire. To make a long story short, we called 9-1-1 and ended up having TWO firetrucks come to our rescue. Not one, but two. We blocked traffic and our situation was apparently on the radio (according to one of the professors on the trip). So there we are, on a bridge at 5:00 a.m. and I am 4 hours from home. How do I get to the airport, you ask? Good question! I made a few calls and had local friends on the way but luckily a cab got to me first and was able to get me to the airport by 6:15 a.m. As an aside, I would like to thank a few people fo helping me out this morning. This was a scarry (but funny in the end) sitution and I could not have made it without you…literally! [Lafonda, I LOVE YOU! Mom and Dad for your support and calming voices...sort-of. Mother, especially, for advising me in time management. My roommate for the trip whom I shall name Princess and her mother, James who I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and who was about to rescue me, the local fire department, the tow-truck guy, and my AWESOME cab driver!!!!!!! You rock man!]
^^^ “Take me to the airport! ANYONE! PLEASE!”
SO! I get to the terminal on time just to find that Delta Airlines cannot locate their aircraft inspector. The clock ticks on and 7:00 a.m. rolls around (when we were supposed to be flying out). This turns into 7:30 and 7:30 quickly became 7:50. Finally the inspector guy shows up…and our plane is broken, for lack of a better word.
^^^ Just say no.
Due to this factor, we come to realize that we will entirely miss our connection for Shanghai in Atlanta International Airport. REARRANGEMENTS! We have to reschedule a fligt to Atlanta for 2:35 p.m. this afternoon so I got to hang out in an itty-bitty six-gate airport for about seven hours. We finally got to Atlanta and were put up in a hotel for the night so it turns out that we will not be leaving for Shanghai until tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. Our flight will take approximately 15 hours and we will all be tired and gross and sad that we missed one whole day of China. But it’s all good! I get a full night of sleep! And GREAT company!
Stay tuned, folks! There is a line for the computer! Must go!
(Disclaimer: Delta is paying for our hotel and we got free t-shirts… they’re not all bad…)
The top 5 things that every female must possess; another shot at a girly entry.
Before I begin listing off random bits and pieces of overly feminine information, let me pause to vent. I AM MOVING OUT! Things are crazy around here, packing and cleaning and the like. I have my last exam in a couple hours so I definitely should not be on here right now…but I don’t care.
As a heads up, I will be leaving the country in approximately three to four days for the Orient. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; I am going to China! For three weeks, I will be studying abroad in the land of communism and egg rolls. This special announcement is to alert you that I will attempt to do a series of entries about my time in China WHILE I am there. I will have limited internet access but I should be able to make at least one entry per week so STAY TUNED!
^^^ OMG! I can’t WAIT!
Moving on! Something wonderful happened to me the other day; I decided to revamp my “undergarment wardrobe,” aka, bras and undies! Nothing fancy, per se, but it was time to…update. So! After adorning a new, flattering brassiere and such, I could tell that simple things like these can make the WORLD of a difference in one’s postures, confidence, and overall attitude! It was as if Oprah had stepped into my room and said, “Honey, that bra is not right!” and I said, “OK Oprah, OK.”
^^^ “Take off that silly bra!”
This leads to the topic of my entry! There are certain things in life that every woman deserves to have/should have, and you can guess number one!
1. Nice undergarments. (It doesn’t matter if it’s fresh out of the wash ladies! If the elastic doesn’t work, throw them away! And besides, you never know when you are going to need to be resuscitated from some kind of freak accident. Imagine that Dr. McDreamy has the privilege to undress you on an operating table and suddenly ::audience gasp:: BAD UNDERWEAR! Bye bye love, hello pop-tarts.)
2. We need LISTENERS! Not ADVICE-GIVERS! (This is so typical but I think men can be the same way. When you are venting about something, you don’t want someone telling you how to fix it! Psychologically speaking, men have a tendency to want to offer solutions when a problem is presented while women simply relate. “Oh, I hate it when that happens.” We just want listeners. We’re going to handle our gritty situation our way, regardless of what you or anyone else says and regardless of how crappy our own solution is.)
^^^ “Oh my gosh! I HATE it when that happens!”
3. Good linens! (We humans spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping! Make it worth your time! Splurge on high thread count sheets and a sateen comforter! ::sigh:: Bed.)
^^^ You don’t have to be a queen to sleep like one.
4. At least one best girl friend and a one gay friend. (The girl friend is wonderful for relating. We all need that someone who can say, “That happens to me all the time!” [love you Lafonda]. We don’t want to feel alone and our girl friends are PERFECT for that. The gay friend is great to have as a translator. Understanding the opposite sex is NO ONE’S forte! If you are a guy, there is no way you could ever possibly begin to understand what is means to be a woman. Similarly, you ladies out there, including myself, will never understand what it means to be a man. But with a gay friend…we get a little closer.)
^^^ Robin Williams and Nathan Lane made THE BEST gay couple, no joke.
5. The Prince Charming fantasy. (Ladies, I don’t care how independent you are, you think about him! You don’t know who he is, what he looks like, or where he’s from, but you believe he’s out there. And if you DO know who he is, you lucky girl, you. The world of women is beaming with delight that you snatched one of the last few off the market. Hooray.)
^^^ Thank you, Disney, for giving us false hopes.
Proximity Etiquette: “Stay away from me!”
So I was coming back from dinner this evening and since my apartment is in on the top floor of the building, I did not hesitate to use the elevator (especially after a meal). I got on the elevator and a fellow student stepped in behind me. I asked her what her destination was and she answered that she would be stopping at the floor beneath mine. As I punched the buttons, the elevator doors shut and I realized that she was quite close to my person. See, I was standing towards the front, near the control panel. It seems that she stepped on right after me and decided that she was comfortable exactly where she stood.
I find this odd for two reasons: 1) We were the only two people on the entire elevator and 2) This elevator is huge! It’s like one of those they use in hospitals so they can fit stretchers onto them easily. Heck, I can even load my kayak onto this elevator and set it down on the ground for the ride up. So there was plenty of space for us to stretch out, but instead, she chose to ride up RIGHT BESIDE me. I felt strange.
^^^I felt kinda like this…minus the two good-looking, debonair gentlemen. : (
It’s kinda like that rule that guys have for urinals in the men’s restrooms. If you (a guy…hopefully) walks into the restroom and there is another guy urinating at a urinal, you are forbidden to pee next to him as long as there are other urinals open. You MUST go to another station that leaves some space between the two of you.
^^^Remember the rule, guys!
The rules of proximity are a strange thing because they are different for everyone. Some people don’t have a personal bubble whereas others need a football field of space all to themselves. Honestly, it depends on who I am with and how comfortable I am with the person. Apparently my bubble increases around new people.
^^^ Me creating my bubble.
Why, oh why did you have to glance at me when I bit off that awkward mouthful of food?
As many of you already know, I am a college student at the present. My sophomore year is drawing to a close. The weather is getting warmer, girls with better legs than mine are wearing booty-shorts, and I can now play connect-the-dots or “name that constellation” on my face due to high stress level break-outs. Nevertheless, I spend a lot of time at our University dining halls and that means lots of time eating around people I have never met before. Have you ever had that moment when you are about to take a bite and it’s just not graceful AT ALL? Then, out of nowhere, somebody walks by and sees you cranking your jaw open to get your mandible around some huge hunk of food. Never fails.
^^^Disclaimer: This is not a picture of me. I googled it. Haha.
There are certain foods that are just not meant to be eaten gracefully and one of them is salad. Salad always gets me. Next time you are looking down at a salad or eating one, take note of those giant leaves of green.
The leaves are always SO HUGE. How in the world am I supposed to elegantly get that food into my chewing apparatus? What happens is the lettuce always ends up violently brushing my chin and orbiculares orris (area around your mouth) as I try to bite down. Then my caesar dressing gets everywhere and lettuce bits go all astray. No good. It’s like you have to fold the lettuce to eat it. But then you end up savagely stabbing at your plate trying to get a neat bite which you then reap the benefits for in all of about two seconds. And I thought I was eating dinner, not doing laundry!
Today I made eye-contact with this guy at lunch right when he was biting down a really solid piece of bread. One could tell he was struggling with it. I caught him right at that moment when the bread started to crack and he scrunched up his face like a raisin, duking it out with the rock-like substance. I chuckled. Because this time it wasn’t me who got caught.
^^^Yep. Bad moment.
I like to take rather large bites of apples and that’s another time when people always catch me. I bite off WAY more that I can chew and I end up having to masticate the most of that chunk with my mouth half opened. It’s a struggle.
^^^The bite I take is seriously twice as big.
And finally: Spaghetti. “Not pasta! Spaghetti!” specifies Cher. There is no good way to eat this stuff. Some people use their knives and cut it up into nice little scoop-able bites. Others slurp it up. I have also seen people use their spoon to help twirl the noodles around their forks but even then, there is always that ONE non-conformist noodle that hangs down really low off your fork. So you end up getting most of the fork-full in your mouth successfully and elegantly but then you have to slurp up that last rebel noodle anyway so that one noodle almost defeats the purpose of the spoon-spaghetti-twirl method.
^^^This is what we WISH we looked like while eating spaghetti.
^^^This is what we REALLY look like eating spaghetti.
As always, someone will catch you in that moment of grace-lacking; you will be embarrassed…and life will go on. Even with two etiquette classes under my belt, I still have yet to get it all right. Maybe it’s just a personal problem.
